Strawberry, Caramel, Vanilla, Banana, Chocolate Fudge, Cookie Dough, Rum and Raisin, Mint, Pistachio, Cherry, Chocolate Chip, Raspberry, Marshmallow, Coconut, Walnut, Cookies and Cream...
I want to drown in a sea of ice-cream.
I was watching TV this morning whilst grounding down my sea salt when a HB advertisement popped on the screen. I literally stopped in my tracks and just stared for a solid minute.
The ice-cream looked so thick and creamy and I could just imagine the sweet, cold sensation as it melted in my mouth.
Of course, my fantasies remained just that and instead, another litre of sea salt water awaited me. I heated it up a little this time and took my time gulping it down every few minutes or so. I lied to myself that it was chicken stock I was having the pleasure of gagging on, but I think that just made it worse. Images of headless chickens with juice spurting out of them ran through my head. Perhaps tomorrow I'll adopt a new tactic.
It's been just over half an hour and I can still feel it slushing around my stomach. I'm hoping today is the day the flushing starts because it's really torturous putting myself through this in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, my body will decide to kick out the nasty salty buggers along with half of my intestines.
I've invested in some laxative tea- it's recommended, but I really don't want to turn to it just yet. I don't want to spend more time on the toilet. I'm there enough as it is with all this peeing.
On the plus side, I've lost 1 kg (that's 2 pounds!)
*cue applause*
I feel quite proud really. And slim. I feel slimmer already. Which is ridiculous. It's a weird concept this. Sitting on my butt with the weight just dropping off me by the hour. I'm already envisioning myself at the end of the week. A walking skeleton, a lollipop head, a twig.
I woke up with a thumping headache this morning and just a small hunger pang. Taking everything into consideration, right now I'm feeling pretty good (despite the gurgling mess that are my intestines...).
I'll report back later.
For now,
CitrusCrash out.
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Mmmmmmmm....more toilet details please.
Stephen said...
April 13, 2010 at 7:46 PM